I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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