Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize