is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
false alarm, still single
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