I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
