Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
