Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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