Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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