I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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