Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
