I hope mine doesn't look like that
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
