What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
