My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
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his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
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call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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