my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
