Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
