Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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