the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tied me up with her honor cords...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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