About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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