I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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