I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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