That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
