It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
