Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We are two peas in an std pod
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
