I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
