love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
