Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Randomize
