We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.