its not stalking. its research.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
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i would one night stand the shit outta him
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.