what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel