I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.