ADVERTISEMENT

• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought

  Fav 33 1555 2413

  share tweet
  

• (216): View more from Ohio

  ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?

  Fav 30 1028 5020

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (712): View more from Iowa

  it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe

  Fav 14 3948 1675

  share tweet
  

• (850): View more from Florida

  I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.

  Fav 5 2910 1155

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (850): View more from Florida

  It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis

  Fav 3 1629 710

  share tweet
  

• (248): View more from Michigan

  He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.

  Fav 12 3609 1132

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (801): View more from Utah

  walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.

  Fav 7 3514 944

  share tweet
  

• (718): View more from New York

  this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican

  Fav 27 841 1790

  share tweet
  

• (225): View more from Louisiana

  I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!

  Fav 4 700 1885

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (678): View more from Georgia

  It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.

  Fav 6 1435 866

  share tweet
  

• (801): View more from Utah

  Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??

  Fav 6 978 643

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.

  Fav 4 996 941

  share tweet
  

• (510): View more from California

  I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition

  Fav 4 854 547

  share tweet
  

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun

  Fav 0 260 151

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (385): View more from Utah

  I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.

  Fav 3 33 44

  share tweet
  

Randomize