My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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