If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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