remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
