omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize