Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
