Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
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When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
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There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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