As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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