Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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