she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
