Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
