Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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