I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize