Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
