How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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