Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
