so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
