That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
