I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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