Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
