hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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