Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
this will be a night to untag.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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