Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
