The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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