and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
