Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
