smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
