All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
