Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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