I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
porn star boner night. come get it.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
