Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
