I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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