maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
