What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
