I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
So many bounce houses so little time
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
