Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
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I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
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