i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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