he thought i was a dude.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
