You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
