You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Randomize
